When Life Comes Crashing Down

The book of Philippians describes a person whose first choice world came crashing down around his ears. Paul the Apostle had nurtured a dream for well over 20 years: to go to Rome and to preach the Gospel and strengthen the church in that strategically important city. Paul eventually did get to Rome, but not as he had always hoped. For Paul arrived in Rome as a prisoner of the state and not a preacher of the Gospel. Paul’s first choice dream was rudely interrupted by the second choice reality of a prison cell and chains.

Paul not only had to contend with life chained between two Roman guards, but also with other preachers who treated him as a rival and badmouthed him behind his back. It always hurts to take cheap shots like that from people who should be on your side and who should know better. Finally, Paul also admits in his letter to the Philippians, that he was feeling weary after a long and fruitful ministry.

Paul’s life had taken a dramatic and unexpected turn for the worse on more than one front. Yet his attitude was nothing like you would expect it to be. He did not react with bitterness or anger, but with joy, peace and love. He managed to see the Godly possibilities behind his truly difficult circumstances.

How did he do this? The temptation is to see Paul as some sort of superhuman saint who lived life on a level too high for anyone else to attain to. If we do this we are doing a disservice to Paul himself, who continually spoke of his very real human mistakes and weaknesses. He often referred to himself as the “Chief of Sinners”, and spoke of his “thorn in the flesh”.
No, Paul’s ability to cope with a horrible second choice scenario was not based upon any abilities of his own. It was simply because he had learnt through a lifetime of hardship and difficulties, to trust in God through all things. We need to know that the God who sustained Paul through his most difficult times, is the same God who offers to strengthen us as well. Paul was not a superhuman being, but he did have a remarkable trust in God. Paul is a shining example to everyone who would also want to entrust their lives to God, even though they may be facing painful second choice worlds.

Tomorrow we will look more closely at what else we can learn from Paul’s example.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Almighty God, when it comes to unwelcome changes and second choice worlds, help us to remember that we are never alone. Even the greatest of Biblical figures faced up to failures, disappointments, grief and shattered dreams. Help us to learn from their examples and to model our faith on theirs. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Philippians 1:12-18 (NIV)
 12Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
 15It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defence of the gospel. 17The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. 18But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Second Choice Worlds

As we concluded yesterday, change happens. As difficult as it sometimes may be, that is a truth we simply have to learn to embrace. I say difficult because sometimes we find ourselves in situations of change that are distinctly unwelcome. Our lives may have changed for the worst over the last couple of months. Perhaps you didn’t get the exam results you were hoping for, or that promotion at work. Or you may have had to move to a new town, or you may be facing up to some situation of hurt or grief like an unwanted pregnancy, or the loss of a loved one. Maybe you are struggling with the thought of another year doing a soulless job, or living with a toxic relationship.

The author, Viv Thomas, has a phrase to describe situations such as these. He calls them, “Second Choice Worlds”. Everyone likes to make choices in life, and of course we all would like to choose only the best for ourselves. In the ideal world, we all would have wonderful relationships, fulfilling jobs, more than enough money, and fantastically good looks. Most of us would nominate all these things and more as our first choice situations. However, in the real world, things don’t always happen that smoothly. Often our first choices just are not realistically available to us, or they don’t turn out in the way we hoped.
It is then we have to deal with situations of difficult change, because the reality of second choice worlds can come as rude and unwelcome intrusions. We may get frightened and stressed, or angry and bitter as a result. Sometimes we even respond by indulging ourselves in “First Choice World” fantasies. We daydream ourselves right out of our situations and into a better reality.

The problem is that these daydreams have no real power to help us deal with the difficult situation at hand. As a young boy, my family often moved town because of the nature of my dad’s job. As I got older, I struggled to adapt to my new schools, and so used to daydream all the time about being back in my old school with all my mates. I did this to such an extent that it took me much longer than it should have to deal with the change. I made new friends more slowly because I was refusing to come to terms with my changed reality.

Of course there is nothing wrong with having the occasional daydream, but we need to remember that continually fantasising about “First Choice Worlds” that just do not exist, will never help us move beyond our pain and struggles. Unfortunately, “Second Choice Worlds”, are part of the reality of life. Unwelcome change may have brought all sorts of trials and grief to us, but the Bible promises us that God will “refine” our faith through these difficult moments. This message builds on yesterdays, because it is a reminder that not only will God always be with us, but also that God can press divine meaning even into the most unwelcome of “Second Choice Worlds”.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Lord, sometimes life brings us into unfair and painful circumstances. We acknowledge that we can often have unhealthy methods of dealing with circumstances like that. We ask that you would teach us healthy and wise ways of dealing with our “Second Choice Worlds”. In Jesus name. Amen.

FOCUS VERSE
1 Peter 1:6-7 (NIV)
6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Embracing Change

2011 is done and dusted and we are all yet another year older. Some of us find getting old and all the changes associated with increasing age hard to cope with. I recently came across the following list which humorously deals with getting older:

“You know you are getting older when … most of your dreams are re-runs; the airline attendant offers you ‘coffee, tea or milk-of-magnesia’; you sit down in your rocking chair and can’t get it started; you watch a pretty girl walk by and your pace-maker opens a nearby garage door”.

But of course age is not the only change we struggle with. The world around us seems to evolve with ever increasing rapidity. For example, we have constant technological changes. (Like I have mentioned before, I still can’t get used to the idea of magazines on your cell phones!) New technologies are constantly hitting the markets. By the time you get your new cell phone home and out of the box, it is already outdated by a newer model.

We also have constantly evolving cosmological changes. This is just a fancy way of saying that what we know about the universe, and the way we view the world around us, are shifting all the time. Scientists are constantly changing their minds about stuff like how the world came into being, whether Pluto can be considered a planet or not, and what ingredients may or may not cause cancer.

I guess what I am trying to say is that whether we like it or not, change happens! As much as we may sometimes struggle with it, change is a fact of life. As Heraklietos once said: “Change alone is unchanging”.

Alvin Toffler, author of the best-selling “Future Shock”, says that when people go through times of change, they need what he calls, “islands of stability”. What he is meaning is that we need to learn what we can hold onto and what we can let go of when our circumstances change. For example, we need to let go of our resistance to change and our fixation with things as they once may have been. We need to embrace the fact of change.

But we also need to know that as we move into an every-changing future, there are certain things we can still hold onto as being dependable and true, our “islands of stability”. Read today’s focus reading (Hebrews 13:8), and then remind yourself that no matter what happens in our lives, God’s love for us always has been and always will be. We are God’s beloved children yesterday, today and tomorrow. God will never stop reaching out to us and God will never let go of us.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord, in our constantly changing society, it is good to remember that your love for us always has been and always will be. That you will never let go of us and never give up on us. Give us strength to hold onto this timeless and unchanging truth. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)
8Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Being Full

Live beyond the boxes by being full.

Emptiness seems to abound. It is no mistake that we are known as a ‘consumer society’ because it seems that as much as we consume, we still never seem to have enough. We earn, we spend, we shop, we eat, we drink, we party, we holiday, all in a futile attempt to try and fill up our empty feelings.

Jesus emphatically challenged us to live beyond societies boxes in this quest for fullness. That instead of turning to money, or food, or anything else on this earth, we should instead turn to God alone to fill us.

Jesus said that he was the Bread of Life, and that by trusting in Him we would experience not only eternal life, but also a life that was abundantly full.

We need to consider carefully what we trust in to give our life meaning. However, this is easier said than done because so many of the things we trust in to give us fulFILLment are very subtle and hard to recognise.

It is not always something as obvious as money, shopping or food. It could be anything from success to popularity to our looks. It is extremely important though that we work on recognising these futile attempts at fulfilment for what they really are. This is so we might begin to give them up to God and learn to trust in Him alone to give our lives meaning and purpose.

If you had to give thought to it … what would be the kind of things you may be trusting in to fill your life? Perhaps it is time that you began to challenge those issues within yourself and hand them over to God.

Hear the call of Jesus offering you fullness of life and put all of your trust in him.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord God, giver of life and all good things, we confess to you how often we search and scrabble for our life’s fulfilment in all the wrong places. We look for it in money, possessions, success, popularity, work, sex, family, food and drink. Help us to recognise that trusting in these things only leads to an increased emptiness. We ask that Jesus would instead become the centre and circumference of our lives and that he would be our food and drink. Help us to make our relationship with you our life’s highest and truest priority.
In Christ’s name we pray. Amen.

FOCUS READING
John 10:7-18 (NIV)
Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Openness

Live beyond the boxes by being open.

Work and responsibilities are part and parcel of everyday life for many of us. However, sometimes because of our endless busyness and responsibilities we can forget what is truly important in life. For example, we can be so busy rushing about earning our daily bread that we forget God has also called us to share our daily bread with others.

Being open to giving generously to others is a call that includes but also surpasses the sharing of actual physical food. It means opening our lives to others through the giving of our time, energy, emotions and friendship.

One noticeable thing about Jesus is how much time he took out from the busyness of his life and ministry just to develop relationships with others. This is powerfully seen in the story of Mary and Martha (see today’s focus reading).

Martha reacts to Jesus’ visit very responsibly and sets about getting everything in order. She becomes annoyed with her sister Mary for sitting back and enjoying Jesus’ company rather than helping her out. So she asks Jesus to speak to Mary and send her to work.

Many of us who are responsible and hard working find ourselves naturally siding with Martha. However, in this case Jesus speaks out for Mary, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

As we head into another busy year, live beyond the boxes by slowing down and taking time out to spend working on relationships. Not only relationships with existing family and friends but also to be open to totally new connections.

After all the general busyness of life leads many to feeling very lonely and isolated, so perhaps the greatest gift you could give another is just to develop a friendship with them. Look out for those in around us who most often are left alone, like the elderly or poor.

Live beyond the boxes by not blindly following the rush of society and instead be open enough to slow down and reach out.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Lord, we confess that we often allow important relationships and other priorities to slip up in our rush to get everything done. Help us to be open to others always and everywhere. Help us to take the time out for family and loved ones. Help us to also take the time to connect with those we don’t normally even notice – strangers, the elderly, and the poor. In the name of Jesus who always made time even for the very least in his society. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Being Accountable

Live beyond the boxes by being accountable.

Everyone needs help. No exceptions. While Christianity most certainly is a personal faith, it most definitely is not a private one. In fact one of the best parts about Christianity is that it brings us into a community, a family - the church.

One of society’s favourite boxes is that of individualism. We are encouraged to believe that ‘going it alone’ is somehow heroic and that to show need is nothing more than weakness.

In stark contrast to this the Bible teaches us that there is more to life than just us and that being part of a wide and diverse community called the church is extremely important. Living beyond boxes in this case is a call to turn away from selfishness and individualism, and to embrace being involved in community.

One of the many, many reasons God invented the church is because as I have already said – everyone needs help. We need each other. As the author of Ecclesiastes suggests we are stronger when we stand together. Furthermore, if we fall down we need the help of others to gently lift us up.

Our togetherness can also result in tremendous personal growth. Belonging to a community like the church that is made of many wonderfully diverse colours, cultures and languages will almost certainly challenge us to learn from others and to deal with our prejudices.

So for all these reasons and more besides it is very important that we belong to a church, and in this way make ourselves accountable to other Christians. Letting others know our strengths and weaknesses and humbly listening to encouragement or challenge will both enrich and grow us.

Being accountable to others is also a way of living beyond the boxes in our sometimes quite selfish and individualistic society.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord God we give thanks to you for our communities. We recognise that as much as we ourselves are not perfect, so no community or church can be either. Forgive us for the times we harshly judge others or belittle them for their weaknesses and mistakes. Help us to be humble and to become accountable to others in a way that will challenge and grow us. Help us to accept that we all need each other in this way. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)
Two are better than one, 
       because they have a good return for their work:
 If one falls down, 
       their friend can help him up. 
       But pity the person who falls 
       and has no one to help them up!
 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. 
       But how can one keep warm alone?
 Though one may be overpowered, 
       two can defend themselves. 
       A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Being Real

Live beyond the boxes by being real.

One of the legendary Peanuts comic strips was set on the first day of a brand new school year. The students had been asked to write an essay about their feelings on returning to class. In her essay, Lucy wrote, “Vacations are nice, but it’s good to get back to school. There is nothing more satisfying or challenging than education, and I look forward to a year of expanding knowledge.”

The teacher was pleased with Lucy and publicly complimented her on a fine essay. In the final frame of the cartoon, Lucy leans over her desk and whispers to Charlie Brown, “After a while you learn what sells.”

In our society today there can be huge pressure to “learn what sells” and to adapt our lives accordingly. To say what others want us to say, to do what others want us to do - in other words to fit neatly into a box.

The major problem with this of course is that we become afraid to truly be ourselves in case that does not “sell”. We put up masks and pretend to be what we are not in an effort to fit in and please others. In the process we lose ourselves and also “sell” out on the integrity of our own souls.

Strangely enough, Christ-followers can be the absolute worst at this failure in authenticity. We feel a tension between the way we should live to honour God and the way we actually do live. So we pretend to ourselves and others that we are something we are not. In the process we risk putting many people off Christianity as a result. I say “strangely enough” because Jesus so firmly challenged us towards authenticity in all things – to be real. To be honest and vulnerable about our weaknesses, fears and mistakes.

In today’s focus verse Jesus warns us against pretending to be what we are not in the strongest possible terms.

Don’t fear being real because although others may reject us for it, the Bible promises that God has love enough to accept us as we are and power enough to transform and heal us!

However, for this to happen we have to be real before God.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Thomas a Kempis said, “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”

O’ Lord we recognise that the process of personal change becomes so much clearer when we ask you to do it within us. Forgive us of the times we pretend to be what we are not. We ask that you would give us the courage to come before you and others simply as we are. Give us strength enough to be real about even our worst weaknesses and mistakes. Give us compassion enough to learn to accept and love others as they really are. For we know that it is in this way that your Spirit can heal and transform us all. Amen.

FOCUS VERSE
Matthew 7:15-23 (NIV)
Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn-bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.