Finding Forgiveness

Even after a whole week of focussing on this issue, you may still be struggling to forgive. Let me encourage you not to give up on that struggle because it is very important. You may not have reached a place of complete forgiveness but the very fact that you are striving really means something. In his book, ‘Letters to Malcolm’, C.S. Lewis wrote these words, "Last week in prayer, I discovered, or least think I did, that suddenly I was able to forgive someone that I had been trying to forgive for over thirty years."

We all know that forgiveness can be incredibly difficult at times. We know how difficult it can be to hand over that which grips our heart and seemingly won’t let go of us! So let’s just say straight up that there are no magic formulas or potions and there are no easy routes to forgiveness, instead like everything else in life, there is only choice. And what greater gift can Christians choose to give the world than the passing on of a gift so generously given to us – the legacy of extravagant and gracious forgiveness for all.

Make no mistake – it is a costly gift – it will cost us our pride, our right to be wounded, and probably much time and effort, but it is so necessary. For Jesus made it plain that in this case it is only in the giving that we will receive. In other words, in order to find forgiveness, we have to first share it!

Jesus leaves us in no doubt that forgiveness is a law of God as fundamental to healthy life as is remembering to breathe, or to eat and drink. Forgiveness is a choice that begins and ends in the inspiration of God’s gift of forgiveness and Jesus reminds us through this parable to never forget what has been done for us by God. That the vast debt we owed God (a debt bigger than any human’s ability to deal with – remember the parable) has been totally and utterly forgiven through Christ on the cross. Never forget what has been done for us. Never!

For as difficult as forgiveness undoubtedly can be, the truth of the matter is that it is not only necessary for us to be free and alive but fundamental to all life itself. So perhaps the only hope for the future of our children is that we learn to break any chains of ‘ungrace’ and instead pass on to them that which has been so graciously poured down upon us by our Father in heaven – forgiveness and all the freedom, life and love that goes along with it.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord our God, we do pray that we would find inspiration to forgive in the forgiveness you have lavished upon us all. Even if we have to wake up every morning, and forgive the same person again and again, we pray that you would give us the strength, will and persistence to do so. For we know that we find forgiveness by sharing it out with others. In Jesus name. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Read the whole Matthew 18. 21-35 in your Bible.

(V35) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Cycles of 'Un-grace'

The thing about un-forgiveness is that it potentially not only imprisons us but also those around us. The famous Christian author, Phillip Yancey, in a talk he gave last year in Durban, spoke about chains or cycles of ungrace. Ungrace is a word he made up to describe situations where we refuse to show one another forgiveness.

Yancey illustrated this point by speaking of a situation where his grandmother could never bring herself to forgive her drunken, abusive father, even after he had cleaned up, become a Christian and asked for forgiveness. She said to him ‘I never want see you again’ … and kept her promise. Her daughter (Yancey’s mother) grew up watching this, and when she and one of her sons (Yancey’s brother) came into a sharp conflict, she repeated to him those words: ‘I never want to see you again’. And so far she has also kept her promise.

Yancey tied this story up by saying that he recently was on the phone to this same brother discussing the brother’s divorce, when his brother said of his wife in an angry voice, ‘I never want to see her again’.

Yancey described the stunned silence as both of them instantly recognized their own mother’s voice speaking through his brother (indeed their own grandmother’s voice). Chains or cycles of ungrace are passed down almost like genetic code! Forgiveness breaks these chains and it sets prisoners free.

When I was ministering at a previous church, there was a woman in the congregation who many years previously endured the trauma and humiliation of her husband cheating on her, and then leaving her for someone else. She struggled for many years to forgive him. This struggle made her and her children miserable. She eventually resolved to go to a colleague of mine for counselling and after much time, and many difficulties, she finally managed to forgive.

Then, unexpectedly one day, she received a phone call from her estranged husband. He had contracted AIDS/HIV, his medical aid had depleted, his lover had thrown him out and he had no where to go. So she took him in. This woman cared for and nursed her cheating husband until he died. Now let’s get something straight – she wasn’t IN love with him any more, she wasn’t trying to recapture a lost marriage, she wasn’t trying to patch anything up. She had simply forgiven him and now was able to love him with a Christ-like love.

You may say what she did was crazy, or silly, or impossible. But let me ask you a question. What do you think she passed onto her children through that action? I think she passed on a God-like grace, a larger than life spirit, a generous heart & attitude, and a freedom from prisons. I think she made real men and woman of God of her children. And I think that through those actions she broke a potential chain of ‘ungrace’, and instead left behind her an inspiring legacy of love.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Lord, it is our desire to leave behind us a legacy of love rather than un-forgiveness and hatred. Help us to understand that when we refuse to forgive, we potentially entrap not only ourselves but others as well, especially those who look to us for spiritual and moral guidance. Help us to live our lives in a way that is true to your amazing grace. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Read the whole Matthew 18. 21-35 in your Bible.

(V35) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Self-made Prisons

You will remember that yesterday we left the crowds absolutely seething at the conclusion of Jesus’ parable: That they would be thrown into torture chambers unless they learnt to forgive their neighbours from the heart. We left them quickly counting up all the people they had heard Jesus teach were their neighbours – Romans, tax collectors, Samaritans.

‘Forgive all of them?!’ we hear them raging, ‘otherwise we too will know the torture chambers?! What kind of God would ask that?!’

Perhaps some of them might have walked out on Jesus and his story at this stage, fuming at the injustice of it all. But maybe, later that day, while they were in bed at night, still tossing and turning angrily over what Jesus had said, something else about this parable might have struck them. That this is not a parable about a mean God who will torture you if don’t do what he says. But that this parable about a loving God who warns us of the grave dangers of an unforgiving spirit that potentially can bring prison-like consequences into our lives.

This point is incredibly crucial for you to understand: The torture chamber, in the context of this story and its message of un-forgiveness, is entirely SELF-INFLICTED. It is spiritual not physical. Jesus is not speaking of a hell to come that God will send you to but a hell in the here and now that we create for ourselves. A lack of forgiveness will warp us, diminish us, embitter us, and yes - imprison us. Dale Carnegie once said that: “When we hate our enemies we give them a power over us – a power over our sleep, appetites, and happiness. Our hate is not hurting them at all, but it is turning our days and nights into turmoil.” Lewis Smedes puts it this way: “The first and only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness…When we genuinely forgive; we set a prisoner free & then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.”

This is why Jesus refused to pull any punches in this parable because forgiveness is absolutely central to the Christian faith. It is central to the very heart of God, and therefore it is central to life itself. It is also, you will remember, at the centre of THE prayer Jesus taught us to pray – ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’

The only person we punish (torture) through a lack of forgiveness is ourselves! Spend some time thinking more directly about the people you are struggling to forgive. Write their names down for use in the following prayer.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Lord, as difficult as it may be for us, we do desire to forgive. We understand how a lack of forgiveness imprisons us, twists us and diminishes our spirits. We pray that you would help us to forgive [NAME/S]. Help us to let go of all anger, hurt or bitterness directed towards that person for what they have done to us. In the name of the Great Forgiver - Jesus. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Read the whole Matthew 18. 21-35 in your Bible.

(V35) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Stunned Silence

If you read yesterday’s parable carefully, you would have been struck by the fact that Jesus did not exactly mince his words. He quite pointedly used the word ‘torture’, and then even more pointedly says that this is exactly what will happen to each of us unless we learn forgive one another from the heart!

These are tough words that seem so very harsh. Quite frankly, some people have had absolutely horrible things done to them, so what does Jesus mean if THEY don’t forgive THEY will be punished?! Many us probably really struggle with that statement – especially if we, or a loved one - have been the victim of some horrible act.

But, perhaps if we moved into a careful discussion of this parable, we might better understand what Jesus is actually saying and meaning. You see, when people first heard this parable they would laughed out loud at parts of it. In fact they probably would have chortled away throughout this story until that last bit about a torture chamber, and then they, like us, might have fallen into a thoughtful silence.

The reason that Jesus’ listeners would have found this parable humorous was because of the sums of money used in it. For example, the sum that the first servant owed was vast. It was beyond the budgets of whole Roman provinces, and perhaps beyond the comprehension of many in Jesus’ audience. Someone has actually taken the time to work out that at the average day’s wages for a servant, it would have taken this man about 125 000 years to pay back what he owed! It was ridiculous to the point of being humorous at the thought that any servant would firstly be in a position to incur such a debt, never mind actually pleading to pay it back. The servant owed 10 000 talents, the crowds would have choked with laughter; they would have got the joke.

They would have found it even funnier at the thought of this same servant, released from his tremendous burden of debt, (a burden beyond the ability of any one human to deal with), walking away from the king’s palace praising God and then seeing a fellow servant who owed another ridiculous figure (this time ridiculous because it was so small – just a couple of days wages) and having him thrown into prison for his inability to pay. It’s like being let off a debt of 10 million rand and then imprisoning someone for owing you ten rand. Who would actually do that?

The crowd was probably still laughing at this point in the story, but their laughter would soon have quietened when Jesus got to the real punch line of the parable. The King, hearing of this latest development, had the first servant thrown into a torture chamber and then comes the clincher, ‘This is how my heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother’s & sisters from the heart’. Stunned silence. Jaws would have dropped as people in the crowd quickly tried to count up all people they had heard Jesus say were their brothers and sisters: Hated Roman oppressors, thieving, traitorous tax collectors, heretical Samaritans. Silence as the crowd chewed over thoughts of broken r/ships, betrayals by loved ones, injustices served on them, great hurts caused by others. Forgive all of them?!

Ah … the scandal of God’s grace in operation again. Perhaps you might find yourself just as offended as Jesus’ original audience was by this parable? Does this mean we have to forgive murderers, thieves and child molesters? Who might you especially struggle to forgive?

PRAY AS YOU GO

O Lord, sometimes we find your grace and love very threatening. We rejoice to hear that we are forgiven by you, but sometimes we struggle with the news that you also forgive people that we find reprehensible. Fill us with your loving Spirit once again and move us to a place where we can deal with this. Amen.
FOCUS VERSE
Read Matthew 18. 21-35 in your favourite translation.

How Do You Handle Forgiveness?

There is a lovely story set in medieval times of two monks who were on a long journey through a great forest. The first monk was middle-aged, had been in the monastic order for years and was renowned for his wisdom. The second monk was a young novice. As they walked along the forest’s winding path, the hours went quickly by, sometimes they were in conversation, and other times they were silent.

At one point they came upon a wide, rapid stream. Sitting at the edge of the water was a young woman who was evidently very distressed. When she saw the two monks, a look of relief crossed her face and she stood up to address the older of the two, "Father, you would be doing me the greatest of favours if you would agree to carry me across the river. The water is swift and I do not know how to swim. If I should slip I may drown.”

"Of course, my child," the monk replied, "I would most willing to carry you across."

The novice shot his companion a surprised glance, for under the rules of their particular order, they were strictly forbidden to even touch women. Nevertheless, the older monk took the woman in his arms, and carried her safely across. After she thanked them both she went on her way, and the monks continued in their own journey.

There was silence between them for an hour, and then two. Finally, the younger monk mustered up his courage to speak. "Father," he said, "you know that we are not allowed to touch women."
"Yes, I know that," he replied.
"Then how could you carry that woman across the stream?"
“My son," the older man said, "I put that young woman down two hours ago. But you are STILL carrying her."

This story is very much like the parable in this week’s focus reading. Instead of a different focus reading every day, this week we will be concentrating on just one reading in an effort to thoroughly wrestle with and understand it. Please open your Bible and read through Matthew 18. 21-35 a few times before continuing with today’s devotion.

Now the reason the monk story is very much like the parable is because they are both stories about carrying things around in our hearts that are not healthy for us. When the first servant in this parable was faced with ruin and slavery, he begged the King for mercy. The King relented and forgave him. But like the young monk who could not let go of the woman, this servant still tightly gripped his own lack of forgiveness to his chest. No sooner had his debt been forgiven than he turned around and threw a fellow servant into prison until he repaid him a much smaller debt. We all know the end of this story. The servant’s lack of forgiveness lands him up in a torture chamber.

How do you handle forgiveness? Do you find it easy to let go of the hurts others have caused you, or do you struggle to let go? Is there something burning within your soul at the moment – some hurt you have received that you refuse to forgive? Perhaps you have been a victim of crime, or abuse and no matter what you do, you cannot let go of the anger and pain within? Or perhaps you have caused someone else grievous pain and have refused to ask forgiveness? Whatever it is, know that it is not God’s desire for us to carry that pain within us for the rest of our days. God’s own love and forgiveness offers to heal us and set us free.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord God, thank-you for the incredible way you have always forgiven me of my sins. Help me to acknowledge where there is a lack of forgiveness within me, and bring me to a place where I can let go of the bitterness and hurt within. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Matthew 18. 21-22 NIV
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Invisible and Voiceless

No-one knows exactly how bad the situation in South Africa is for children who are abused. In reporting on this Health 24 had the following to say:

“In this country there is a culture of non-reporting and underreporting of sexual offences. With the recent moratorium placed on the release of crime statistics, accurate figures are currently not available. Earlier figures released by the SAPS make for some terrifying reading, though.

Between 1994 and 1999 23,900 rape cases were reported to the police. It is reasonable to assume that many of these cases involved children. The SAPS estimate that only between one in twenty and one in thirty-five rapes are reported to the police. The same kind of reporting ratio would hold in cases regarding minors. When parents assume that their children are not at risk, they are very wide off the mark.”

Not exactly pleasant reading for a Friday morning I know, but child abuse is something we need to be aware of and deeply concerned with. The reason I bring this up, is because I was recently struck by a thought concerning the passage on childlike faith we have been studying all week.

What does this story teach us about God? For me, it is a glimpse into the very heart of God, a reminder of divine nature: That God cares for the little ones, the very least in our society. You see children in Jesus’ day were often abused, just like today. Besides the types of abuse that are commonly known to us, it was also not unheard of for a parent to sell their children into slavery in an attempt to recover debt. Children were often treated as nothing more than possessions.

They were definitely seen and not heard, invisible and voiceless. Except … except by God walking on earth as a man. Through Jesus, we learn that God has seen their plight and heard their cries for help. Through Jesus, we learn that God’s arms are always stretched out to the little ones, to those who find themselves at the bottom of our social hierarchies.

And in fact, we learn from this God, that we should also reach out to and love the world’s little ones. For not only has God commanded that we do all we can to protect them, but God has also told us that they hold kingdom truths which we all need to learn. Further to that, Jesus tells us that when we open our arms to embrace God’s little ones, we may find that we are in fact embracing God himself.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord, we want to lift up to you every child that suffers. Those who are abandoned, abused and neglected. We pray O’ God that you would be their deliverer, and that they would know you as Father. We also pray that you would raise up Christians across the world, (including ourselves), to reach out and embrace all your “little ones” who are in need. In Christ name we pray. Amen.

FOCUS READING

Mark 9:36-37 (New International Version)
36He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, 37"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

What Does It All Mean?

The Christian author, Frederick Beuchner, gives us a couple of further hints at the meaning of childlike, as opposed to childish, faith. The first is that children know how to accept gifts! Since they are totally dependant from birth, children can receive gifts both gladly and unselfconsciously. They have no suspicions that there may be a catch somewhere, there is no debate about whether they deserve it or not, no worries about the proper etiquette of reciprocation.

Yet we do this type of thing all the time with God’s gift of salvation. We do our best to try to earn it, to prove we deserve it. I think Beuchner puts his finger on the very crux of Jesus’ point here, because trying to earn or prove we deserve a gift is something only adults will do. It is adults, not children, who struggle to graciously receive. Perhaps then a childlike spirit is the only thing that will actually receive God’s kingdom because it takes exactly that kind of attitude to receive grace!

Trying to earn or deserve this gift only leads us down the very sorry paths of legalism, pride and self-reliance. Interestingly enough, the story directly after this one, is about a rich, young man, who struggled with these very issues. Jesus commented on his story by saying that it was harder for a camel to enter through the eye of a needle than for someone who “has it all” to enter God’s kingdom. When his disciples queried him as to whether under those conditions anyone had any chance at all in entering God’s kingdom, Jesus replied: “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off for yourself, every chance if you trust God to do it.”

A childlike faith will not expend energy and effort trying to earn or deserve what has already been freely lavished upon us. It is clear that the wonders of God’s kingdom come to us only as a gift, and that it takes a childlike faith to receive this gift.

Beuchner’s next point follows the first one closely. It is that children know how to trust! In fact children have to be taught not to trust strangers, for distrust is against their instincts. The point is that nothing is too terrifying for a child to face up to as long as they have a trusted adult’s hand to hold. The reason this point is linked to the last, is because we need to trust in the Person who gives us the gift of the kingdom. Trust is being courageous enough to believe God can and will “pull it off” on our behalf. Trust is giving up trying to earn our way into the kingdom, and receiving it instead as a gift of grace.

So a childlike faith opens us up to the wonders and miracles of God in everyday life. A childlike faith releases us from pride and self-reliance, and a childlike faith enables us to trust that God’s generous gift of the kingdom is all we will every truly need.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Thank-you O’ God for the gift of the kingdom. Help us to receive this gift of grace without trying to earn it or prove we deserve it. Keep us from childish traits of legalism, pride and self-reliance and bring us into a childlike faith brimming with trust in you for all things. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Mark 10. 13-16; 23-27 (Message)
The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very centre of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.
But Jesus kept on: "You can't imagine how difficult. I'd say it's easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye than for the rich to get into God's kingdom."
That set the disciples back on their heels. "Then who has any chance at all?" they asked.
Jesus was blunt: "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it."