The Difference Between Joy and Happiness

There is a big difference between joy and happiness. Unfortunately, there seem to be several misconceptions that abound in modern thought about what joy really is.

Firstly, the concept of joy needs to be rescued from Christians themselves, because there is the unfortunate misperception that to be joyful one has to look and act like Ned Flanders in the TV show ‘The Simpsons’! Joy is not a sickly-sweet, unreal, lets-all-pretend-we-are H-A-P-P-Y!

In fact nothing could be more real and down to earth than joy.

If I had to define joy it would be as follows: Joy is a courageous and persistent CELEBRATION OF LIFE, even when times are tough (in fact, especially when times are tough). Joy is that which helps us to embrace all of life, both the laughter and the tears, without the need for escapism into daydreams or by pretending to be what we are not.

We must understand that happiness is not the same as joy, although happiness can form a part of joy. Joy is much bigger than happiness! Because circumstances allow for happiness (it comes from the same root word as ‘happening’), a change in circumstances can therefore make our happiness dissolve into thin air. Happiness is emotion, whereas joy is a choice, it is a discipline that doesn’t come and go with circumstances but defies them and lives to the full despite any difficulties.

Joy can coexist with doubt, ambiguity and pain. Joy doesn’t seek to escape from tough circumstances but rather to overcome them without losing who we are in the process. Joy is an inner contentedness, trust, peace and knowledge that takes us through tough circumstances knowing that God has never let us down and that God NEVER will!

So the pursuit of happiness is actually a misguided one. God created our souls for joy – that’s what is promised as a fruit of God’s Spirit. When we pursue happiness instead of joy we blur the lines of what it is we really need. We begin to misunderstand and misdirect our soul’s yearnings in a number of different ways.

Eugene Peterson pointed out one of these common misunderstandings when he said: ‘We try to get joy through entertainment. We pay someone to make jokes, tell stories, perform dramatic actions, sing songs. We buy the vitality of another’s imagination to divert and enliven our own poor lives. The enormous entertainment industry in [the world today] is a sign of the depletion of joy in our culture. Society is a bored, gluttonous king employing a court jester to divert it after an overindulgent meal. But that kind of joy never penetrates our lives, never changes our basic constitution. The effects are extremely temporary – a few minutes, a few hours, a few days at most. When we run out of money, the joy trickles away. We cannot make ourselves joyful. Joy cannot be commanded, purchased or arranged.’

The question you may well be asking yourself now is, ‘Why is joy important to me then? Why do I have to know about it?’ Well, joy is vital to faithfully following Christ because it is that quality that triumphs over adversity without losing who God made us to be in the process. In an age when sadness abounds, joy is the triumph of God’s Spirit being worked in and through the human spirit.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Holy and loving God, help us to understand what joy truly is. Help us to not confuse it with happiness and help us to never be false and pretend to be what we are not. Fill us with your spirit and your joy so that we might learn to celebrate all of life and live it to the full in your name. Amen.

FOCUS VERSE
Philippians 4:4, 6-7 (The Message)
Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him!
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Some of you might recognise today's title from the recent major movie starring Will Smith. In the movie (based on a true life story), Smith plays Chris Gardner, a man who is bright, ambitious and driven and yet always puts the safety of his son, Christopher, first. The movie tells the story of Gardner’s struggles to make something out of his life. He encounters one setback after another, at one point even ending up sleeping on the streets with his son.

After months of poverty and hardship, facing one disappointment after another, Gardner finally becomes rich beyond his wildest dreams! … And then the movie ends. ‘So is that it?’ we are left asking ourselves. Is that what the pursuit of happiness is all about? Getting rich beyond our wildest dreams?

Now, I am not aware of how closely the movie portrays the ‘true story’, but I do need to say that the conclusions this movie draws for us sends some serious shivers down my spine. Do we really believe that endless wealth will provide us with all the happiness we desire?

Yet, in all honesty, I know that my personal daydreams have sometimes involved winning lotteries or somehow getting rich. We all do that to some extent. When times are tough we tend to daydream about past happy memories, or we daydream about a bright and prosperous future. We place our hopes in fantasies like winning the lottery or drastically changing our present circumstances in some way.

This is accentuated because times are quite tough right now. There are fears over a global recession, while many parts of the world such as Zimbabwe and the Middle East seem to be in constant turmoil. Wherever we live, we seem to be facing our own challenges of various kinds. Those of us who live in South Africa can find reading the papers a bit depressing because you are almost sure to find the latest horror crime story in the headlines.

Yes, times are quite tough for many at the moment. Which is why the title ‘The Pursuit of Happiness’ probably stirs something deep within our souls. All of us, probably without exception, would like to find and know some happiness. Who wouldn’t want more laughter, fun and inner contentment to be part of their lives?

Yet Scripture would challenge this kind of response to life’s difficult times. The pursuit of happiness is understandable but ultimately hugely misguided. For if we pursue only happiness then we are really looking for all the wrong things in all the wrong places.

Scripture emphasises that what our souls need is to know joy rather than just happiness. And there is a huge difference!

We will spend the rest of this week studying that difference and discussing why exactly joy is such an integral part of the Christian walk.

In the meantime, spend some time thinking about your daydreams. When times are tough, what kind of daydreams do you escape into? What can you learn about yourself from this?

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord, we know that the pursuit of happiness is something that drives us powerfully. Help us not to look for all the wrong things in all the wrong places in the hope they will provide us with the inner happiness and contentment we so desire. Help us to find all we need from you, and you alone. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Psalm 16. 8-11 NIV
I have set the LORD always before me. 
 Because he is at my right hand,I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; 
       my body also will rest secure,
  because you will not abandon me to the grave, 
       nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
 You have made known to me the path of life; 
       you will fill me with joy in your presence, 
       with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Second Choice Worlds and God

Some of you may have been reading through this week’s devotions and thinking to yourselves, “Well this is all ok for God. He never has to deal with unwelcome changes, or a second choice world not of his choosing. God is powerful enough to sort it all out with just a wave of his hand”.

If we have ever found ourselves thinking like that, we would have of course, been forgetting about the Garden of Eden. Remember that? God’s first choice world is seen in the Garden of Eden – a place of beauty, justice, peace, love and deep communion between God and humanity. This peaceful place was, however, fractured by humanity’s poor choices, and thereafter sin entered the picture.

It is interesting to note what God did at this stage. God did not in his righteous anger destroy us with a click of his fingers. Nor did God give up on us by turning his back on us and leaving us to our own devices. No, God in passionate love, decided on an entirely different, yet far more difficult way. God chose to sacrificially enter this “second choice world” through Jesus and to impact it. God faced human temptations and shared human sufferings. God did this so that he might show us a way back into relationship with him, and so that he might restore us into Life as he originally created us to live it. It was the long way round but God saw us as worth it.

Make no mistake, God is powerful enough to sort out the situation with a wave of his hand, but love demands following an entirely more difficult route. You see for love to truly be real, free choice has to exist. Relationships have to be chosen, they cannot be forced. This is why God did not use power to sort us out, but gave up power for the sake of love, (see Philippians 2. 6-8). God’s extravagant love for us means that he would never give up on us, that he would enter into a world comprising the very worst of our mistakes, just so that he can bring us back to him.

This should help us to remember that God can do something wonderful even in the very worst of second choice worlds. God does not necessarily give us an easy way out of a bad situation with a click of his fingers, but he does offer us all the grace and strength we need to get through it. Although the path may be narrow, God takes us by the hand and remains with us to the very end of our journey.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord, we learn from the Bible that you are not necessarily into “easy-way outs” of difficult situations. For you did not abandon us when we turned from you, nor did you destroy us when we sinned. Instead you took the narrow road, the long and difficult way of love that has brought us a wonderful message of redemption and hope. Give us the strength we need to follow you always even if it takes us down some narrow roads, and help us to keep trusting in you always. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Abandoning Perfectionism

The movie, “The Truman Show”, was a clever satire which poked fun at how people often choose to live their lives. Jim Carrey played a character called Truman who unknowingly grows up as the central character on a reality show. He had no idea that all his friends and family members were nothing more than actors, and that the town in which he lived was a giant indoor set.

His was a pretend and commercially driven world where everything worked perfectly. The sun rose exactly the same way everyday, the rains always came on time, his neighbours were unfailingly polite, and his wife was perfect in every possible sense. And yet within all this perfection, Truman constantly struggled with the feeling that he was not actually living and that there was something vital missing in his life. Scarily enough, we often perceive that our lives should be exactly like Truman’s…perfect. We pray and hope for a nice life in a nice world with no problems. A world where being problem free proves that God loves us and that we are doing something right.

However this perfectionist view of the world is not the world the Bible speaks of. For in the Bible we find that saints make error judgements, Christians die, the innocent face unfair judgements, loved ones are lost, and prominent Christian leaders have strong disagreements. In other words, life is not always perfect. In fact it is often downright unfair and tough. Life can be messy, and that is the simple reality of it all.

Faith is not about never having problems, and never being stressed, tired or angry. Faith is not even about never having doubts. Faith is about holding onto God and the life God wants us to live, even though everything around us becomes messed up for a while.

So much of our prayer lives has to do with convincing God to buy into things as we would have them done, and to make our lives perfect. We forget about Jesus’ great prayer - ‘not my will but yours be done’. There is no doubt that God wants to bless our lives in an extraordinary way, but sometimes our view of what it means to be blessed differs from God’s. For example, God would rather have us be faithful than successful. Paul managed to abandon perfectionism when he saw that although he had arrived in Rome as a prisoner and not as a preacher, Christ was still being proclaimed in a wonderful way. Paul managed to see his prison guards as a potential congregation!

Perhaps it is time that we started working through the kind of process that Paul obviously went through. We should commit our lives to God’s agenda and not our own. We should look again at difficult and imperfect situations and see what God could do through them. We should pray for faithfulness before we pray for success.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Holy God, help us to abandon our often vain and selfish ideas of perfectionism. If we face difficult situations, it is not necessarily because we have sinned, but simply because they are part and parcel of life. We commit ourselves to following you no matter what. We trust that your ways are greater than our own, and that your wisdom far exceeds ours. We pray that you would grant us a spirit of deep faithfulness to you and to your plan for the world. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Philippians 1:18-21 (The Message)
And I'm going to keep that celebration going because I know how it's going to turn out. Through your faithful prayers and the generous response of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, everything he wants to do in and through me will be done. I can hardly wait to continue on my course. I don't expect to be embarrassed in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn't shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I'm Christ's messenger; dead, I'm his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can't lose.

When Life Comes Crashing Down

The book of Philippians describes a person whose first choice world came crashing down around his ears. Paul the Apostle had nurtured a dream for well over 20 years: to go to Rome and to preach the Gospel and strengthen the church in that strategically important city. Paul eventually did get to Rome, but not as he had always hoped. For Paul arrived in Rome as a prisoner of the state and not a preacher of the Gospel. Paul’s first choice dream was rudely interrupted by the second choice reality of a prison cell and chains.

Paul not only had to contend with life chained between two Roman guards, but also with other preachers who treated him as a rival and badmouthed him behind his back. It always hurts to take cheap shots like that from people who should be on your side and who should know better. Finally, Paul also admits in his letter to the Philippians, that he was feeling weary after a long and fruitful ministry.

Paul’s life had taken a dramatic and unexpected turn for the worse on more than one front. Yet his attitude was nothing like you would expect it to be. He did not react with bitterness or anger, but with joy, peace and love. He managed to see the Godly possibilities behind his truly difficult circumstances.

How did he do this? The temptation is to see Paul as some sort of superhuman saint who lived life on a level too high for anyone else to attain to. If we do this we are doing a disservice to Paul himself, who continually spoke of his very real human mistakes and weaknesses. He often referred to himself as the “Chief of Sinners”, and spoke of his “thorn in the flesh”.
No, Paul’s ability to cope with a horrible second choice scenario was not based upon any abilities of his own. It was simply because he had learnt through a lifetime of hardship and difficulties, to trust in God through all things. We need to know that the God who sustained Paul through his most difficult times, is the same God who offers to strengthen us as well. Paul was not a superhuman being, but he did have a remarkable trust in God. Paul is a shining example to everyone who would also want to entrust their lives to God, even though they may be facing painful second choice worlds.

Tomorrow we will look more closely at what else we can learn from Paul’s example.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Almighty God, when it comes to unwelcome changes and second choice worlds, help us to remember that we are never alone. Even the greatest of Biblical figures faced up to failures, disappointments, grief and shattered dreams. Help us to learn from their examples and to model our faith on theirs. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Philippians 1:12-18 (NIV)
 12Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
 15It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defence of the gospel. 17The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. 18But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Second Choice Worlds

As we concluded yesterday, change happens. As difficult as it sometimes may be, that is a truth we simply have to learn to embrace. I say difficult because sometimes we find ourselves in situations of change that are distinctly unwelcome. Our lives may have changed for the worst over the last couple of months. Perhaps you didn’t get the exam results you were hoping for, or that promotion at work. Or you may have had to move to a new town, or you may be facing up to some situation of hurt or grief like an unwanted pregnancy, or the loss of a loved one. Maybe you are struggling with the thought of another year doing a soulless job, or living with a toxic relationship.

The author, Viv Thomas, has a phrase to describe situations such as these. He calls them, “Second Choice Worlds”. Everyone likes to make choices in life, and of course we all would like to choose only the best for ourselves. In the ideal world, we all would have wonderful relationships, fulfilling jobs, more than enough money, and fantastically good looks. Most of us would nominate all these things and more as our first choice situations. However, in the real world, things don’t always happen that smoothly. Often our first choices just are not realistically available to us, or they don’t turn out in the way we hoped.
It is then we have to deal with situations of difficult change, because the reality of second choice worlds can come as rude and unwelcome intrusions. We may get frightened and stressed, or angry and bitter as a result. Sometimes we even respond by indulging ourselves in “First Choice World” fantasies. We daydream ourselves right out of our situations and into a better reality.

The problem is that these daydreams have no real power to help us deal with the difficult situation at hand. As a young boy, my family often moved town because of the nature of my dad’s job. As I got older, I struggled to adapt to my new schools, and so used to daydream all the time about being back in my old school with all my mates. I did this to such an extent that it took me much longer than it should have to deal with the change. I made new friends more slowly because I was refusing to come to terms with my changed reality.

Of course there is nothing wrong with having the occasional daydream, but we need to remember that continually fantasising about “First Choice Worlds” that just do not exist, will never help us move beyond our pain and struggles. Unfortunately, “Second Choice Worlds”, are part of the reality of life. Unwelcome change may have brought all sorts of trials and grief to us, but the Bible promises us that God will “refine” our faith through these difficult moments. This message builds on yesterdays, because it is a reminder that not only will God always be with us, but also that God can press divine meaning even into the most unwelcome of “Second Choice Worlds”.

PRAY AS YOU GO
Lord, sometimes life brings us into unfair and painful circumstances. We acknowledge that we can often have unhealthy methods of dealing with circumstances like that. We ask that you would teach us healthy and wise ways of dealing with our “Second Choice Worlds”. In Jesus name. Amen.

FOCUS VERSE
1 Peter 1:6-7 (NIV)
6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Embracing Change

2011 is done and dusted and we are all yet another year older. Some of us find getting old and all the changes associated with increasing age hard to cope with. I recently came across the following list which humorously deals with getting older:

“You know you are getting older when … most of your dreams are re-runs; the airline attendant offers you ‘coffee, tea or milk-of-magnesia’; you sit down in your rocking chair and can’t get it started; you watch a pretty girl walk by and your pace-maker opens a nearby garage door”.

But of course age is not the only change we struggle with. The world around us seems to evolve with ever increasing rapidity. For example, we have constant technological changes. (Like I have mentioned before, I still can’t get used to the idea of magazines on your cell phones!) New technologies are constantly hitting the markets. By the time you get your new cell phone home and out of the box, it is already outdated by a newer model.

We also have constantly evolving cosmological changes. This is just a fancy way of saying that what we know about the universe, and the way we view the world around us, are shifting all the time. Scientists are constantly changing their minds about stuff like how the world came into being, whether Pluto can be considered a planet or not, and what ingredients may or may not cause cancer.

I guess what I am trying to say is that whether we like it or not, change happens! As much as we may sometimes struggle with it, change is a fact of life. As Heraklietos once said: “Change alone is unchanging”.

Alvin Toffler, author of the best-selling “Future Shock”, says that when people go through times of change, they need what he calls, “islands of stability”. What he is meaning is that we need to learn what we can hold onto and what we can let go of when our circumstances change. For example, we need to let go of our resistance to change and our fixation with things as they once may have been. We need to embrace the fact of change.

But we also need to know that as we move into an every-changing future, there are certain things we can still hold onto as being dependable and true, our “islands of stability”. Read today’s focus reading (Hebrews 13:8), and then remind yourself that no matter what happens in our lives, God’s love for us always has been and always will be. We are God’s beloved children yesterday, today and tomorrow. God will never stop reaching out to us and God will never let go of us.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord, in our constantly changing society, it is good to remember that your love for us always has been and always will be. That you will never let go of us and never give up on us. Give us strength to hold onto this timeless and unchanging truth. Amen.

FOCUS READING
Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)
8Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.